What a Struggler I am

I guess I am the most unfortunates around the world who had to struggle for almost any thing in the life.

And it all started from the very first day I was born or I must say from the day I was trying my level best to get born... yes to get born.

This is the story "of the day I was born" It was 24th July 1989 when the first misfortune of my life took place. The misfortune was the famous Mumbai floods.

That day entire city was drained in the monsoon floods and my poor mother was in labor. Ya.. I picked the wrong day but how do I was suppose to know wads happening outside. anyways She and I, we both  were actually struggling. - Struggling for life. the city was in halt and the only thing running or I should say "raining" continuous was the rains.

There were no buses,cabs or rickshaws. Even the communication lines were out and the entire city was flooded. It had been 13 hrs of labor and there were no means to reach the hospital. Thank God my dad waited no longer and carried my mom all the way  to the nearest hospital through the floods. Oh god I'm really proud of him. Now that I don't have both of them I'm really proud of them both.
And alas I was born. I was born to struggle through a struggle.

Its been always that I don't ever get any thing easily.
For instance, my HSC board exam results.I was very, very sure that I would be not just a pass out but I will really pass out with good grades.

As soon as I got my results I went first went through the mark list. At very instant I stared at my English marks and i was really very happy to score 80 on 100, then I was content to get 75 in Hindi, 69 in economic, 78 in sociology, 65 in political science but when I saw that I had just got 15 marks in my most favorite subject Psychology I got goosebumps all over my hands and my legs were literary trembling. Yes I was failed. I was failed with 63%. Yes I was even failed with First Class. which was even more than my friend Swati who scored 56% and she was a pass out.

I was shattered all the way. But my very ambitious mom trusted me and she said, "We'll fight for this".And we actually fought for this legally. The legal result was from my side but in all those legal procedures I had already lost my entire year. but I struggled and I won.

Yes that was a big one but even at regular terms I struggle at every point.. for example yesterday,

Yesterday was Ashadi Ekadashi. and I was holding a fast. General in Hindu fasts we are allowed to eat food cooked with tapioca and potato. So I was in a queue to collect Sabudana (tapioca) khichdi and Sabudana wada from Prakash Hottel, Shivaji Park. When I placed an order I in returned got 2 Sabudana wada and no Sabudana khichdi. I was already out off the queue.

but as a straggler.. I fought and at last got what I want. I even yelled and warned others in the queue to check their parcels before living.

Yes I was frustrated. I was frustrated over my destiny. I was frustrated on the biggest misfortune happened to me on my 22nd Birthday last year when my entire life was flooded. This time with a devastating news of  my Mom having Cancer. It was again 24th July and my very brave father who had carried my mom all the way to the hospital in the floods 22 yrs back left her all alone and left all the responsibilities on these young shoulders of 22 yrs and he simply left. Left to never return back.

Yes I was born in floods. But since my birth I learned to struggle and to survive. Even after the departure of my father and death of my mother. I'm surviving. I'm fighting each day. 

It seams as if the fortune wheel of my destiny is still up side down. But I'm sure it will soon turn and the path of my struggle will soon end.

Back to the roots - "Stronger the hair roots; Stronger the hair"

It has been truly said that Indian civilization is the most ancient civilization still alive and still surviving and indeed it’s flourishing day by day. Whether it’s from food, way of dressing, fabric, dance, science, mathematics, architecture, etc.  Indian culture has always, immensely contributed to the various other cultures around the world.

Archeologists and historians have successfully proved that the world’s first university “Takshila” and “Nalanda” were first established in India and Sanskrit is the mother of all the European languages. The word Geometry itself is derived from the word Gayamiti and trigonometry  from the word Trikonnamiti - tri(three)+kon(angle)+miti(parametre).

Even in the field of medicine Ayurveda is considered as the earliest school of medicine known to Mankind.

India is also known for its unique art forms like classical dances, folk dances, literature, cave paintings, etc. Paintings in the Caves of Ajentha and Alora are the standing proves since 2nd century BCE speaking about the importance of hair to enhance a women's allure. Every Indian art form indeed tells secretly that how hair are the natural adornment to a women's beauty.

In India, its in fact a culture or you can say a tradition for young and married girls or women to have long & beautiful black hair. And having such cultural and traditional Granny I had no other options too.

In my school days, my granny use to chumpy (oil massage) me with tons of oil. If it was possible for her, to extract all the oil around the world to nourish my hair she could have even gone through that extent. Ya.. it was kind of  irritating but had no other choice, except accepting it.

But indeed thanks to her, after going  through numerous experiments, like rebounding, perming, coloring , chopping the hair to try out various hair cuts continuously, my hair 'survived'. But they had just survived like an injured solider who had fought the entire war for the victory of his nation.

Anyways, when I entered my early twenties I realized the actual importance of having strong and healthy hair. But it was, I guess too late because I had started facing numerous hair problems like tremendous hair fall, splitants, scalp dryness, dandruff, rough hair (Yes I had just told you that they had just survived as if they had fought a war for their mere existence). Its was as if I had lost my original texture all together. 

Then after surfing allover the net and doing some research I found out that to have healthy hair, one must have strong hair roots. Ya.. its common sense after all. for instance to build a strong architecture an architect constructs a strong base first. And it was the time Ii realized for having stronger and healthier hair I must nourish 'the roots'.

And so I went back to my roots to nourish my hair. I recollected how Granny use to everyday give me a good hair oil massage. And it was not a common oil. She use to use a special oil made from the aerial Roots of a banyan tree. In the beginning I found difficult to find that oil in the market but on the advice of my friend I ultimately found and purchased it from a Ayurvedic medicine shop. The owner of the medicine shop was also a "Vaidya" (doctor). On hearing my various hair problem the Vaidya advised me to wash my hair with the medicinal churan provided by him.

Within just a week of using that Ayurvedic oil and the churan to wash my hair, I started noticing a magical change in the texture of my hair. My hair were getting healthier and stronger day by day.
And that was the end of my all the hair problems.

As I said in the very first line "Indian civilization is the most ancient civilization still alive and still surviving and indeed it’s flourishing day by day" The only reason to it is that its strong at its roots. Similarly I learnt -

"stronger the hair roots stronger the hair"


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Endless Expectations

In economics I had learnt about "never ending human wants". But after entering the advertising sector, I have realized the main reason behind these “never ending human wants” is “the endless human expectations and desires”. These rising expectations and booming human desires sparks up the Human wants. And we advertisers spark the human expectations in order to convert it into wants and desires, to boost up the sales of the various products.

Understood anything?? No.. ok in simple words…

Our endless expectations make us want or expect more and more from one particular thing which we own or possess.

That is the reason why MOBILE INDUSTRY took such a great evolutional leap in just 2 decades.

First it was just a phone which was mobile. But now it’s a radio, music system, computer, tool to send or receive wireless massages or e-mails, web browsers, and lots more.

At every stage of human expectation, the mobile was evolved to satisfy our needs.

It’s not just in the case of Mobile. We tend to expect more and endlessly from people and relations too.

Now for instance;

First I just needed a maid to wash my utensils and keep house neat and tidy.

My previous maid was nice in her work, particular in time but very bad in attitude.

It is sort of a trend in Mumbai (God only knows when it all started) that the maids act like they are the special and rear species only alive. And the attitude they carry.. Ohh.. my.. Ghod!!!

On the very first day when I went to instruct her she in turn instructed me saying “Deko Madam! kit-kit nahi mangtay”.

And atlas I was introduced to “the attitude”. Yes, I did.

As it is difficult to find maids in Mumbai, I used the “let it go” policy to make things work between us and made a point that our attitudes won’t crash.

Actually, my basic motive for appointing her was satisfied that she use to keep the house clean but the only thing went wrong was “my expectations” towards her. I expected from her to clean the house as per my accord. Obviously it’s my house I know the best where things have to be kept and how they have to be place. And more than that I expected at list tiny little politeness, respect from her.

But the day came, she crossed over the limits of my patients and I showed her what the attitude is;

The reason was simple.

I had always requested her not to use the Kitchen napkins to clean the kitchen platform. Then I started reminding her not to do so. Later on I started ordering her what she was supposed to do.But it was as if she was continuously turning a deaf ear towards me or sometimes blind eye towards me. And at last the day arrived, when I warned (or you can say I yelled at her) saying “Pleeeaassseee, let me know, have you decided not to obey a single word I tell you? Or should I look for options instead of you”

And alas that she left.

After the nightmare of two days, I found another maid. I was so relieved that I dint even bargained with her. On her face I offer her a salary of 1000 (similar to that of my previous maid) moreover I was in an awful hurry to reach office so I dint even mentioned to her about the type of work she was suppose to do.

The whole week went smoothly. The new maid is very particular and tidy about her chores. The entire week I was in the state of Euphoria. But, my expectations grew with her perfections; Perfection about her arrival times. As discussed she was suppose to come by 7:00 am but she arrives randomly often, sometimes at 7:15 / 7:30 / 7: 40 or even sometimes at 8:00 or 8:15. And this is obviously unexpected for me. But now I’m compromising; compromising not only with the new maid, but also with my other endless expectations, which have trapped me in the emotional turmoil and anxiety.

But when I look at the positive aspect of a thing or person towards whom I start building these endless expectations, the picture seems entirely different. And my expectations merely appear stupid.

And, yes, I realized how stupid I am to forget that people can’t evolve as per our expectations but they indeed change and they no more stay the same person as they were before whom we had met or we have liked or acquainted.

Yes I have realized, but though I wonder;

Why do I still expect???

Why do I try to change the normal thing as per my wish???

Why do I still complain.. complain and complain???

Is it because I'm a human? Or

Is it because I'm selfish???...

……unhhh might be I am both

Or Might be I belong to a selfish race called “Human being” 

Or I'm just normal and I'm just "being a Human". A human who just expects.. expects and expects..

Small Lil Things

In the hustle - bustle of our day to day life we tend to forget or avoid or notify the existance of the small little things around us. The thing is we are awfully engrossed in our day to day chores and big things like managing the home, finances, investments, savings, office, health, fitness, etc we just turn a blind eye towards the small and little things 

But sometimes these small little things can make big impressions on us and easily can change our perception towards life. Today while I was busy making sandwiches for breakfast and my mind was busy maundering in the random thoughts, fears and anxieties of how my life has changed its path since I had lost my parents; then suddenly my attention was diverted by a smoky smell in my living room. (As in Mumbai Ghar shuru Hone se pehele hi khatam hote hai.. Similarly I have a small cute little house in the heart of the city)

When I turned around in the direction of the smell, I noticed that the burning diya (oil lamp) placed before lord Ganesha had just extinguished. Where there was a live burning flame before now there was just a diya emitting smoke. At that very moment my maundering and wondering mind was settled and a deep thought was aroused within me. Thought that burning flame was just a tiny thing but for me at that moment it was a perception changing experience.

The oil lamp (diya) thought me that the burning flame symbolizes life whereas the oil that helps the flame to glow refers to life supportive sources. Therefore it’s our job to source our life and body with healthy food, fresh air & proper lifestyle.

See how sometimes small little things awaken us and shows us the way of life.

After the loss of my parents Life always seemed to me very mysterious. I had just started thinking that now no one is there to advice me or teach me words of wisdom but now I am certainly aware that the guardian of my destiny is guiding me throughout. It made me realsie that there is plently to learn from the very small little things surrounding us.

Yes, big things like home, finances, investments, savings, office, health, fitness, etc.. etc.. etc.. are occupying but now even small little things matters to me.

A Tale of Two Cities

Mumbai

Mumbai - the city of dreams, where Millions of people arrive every day with hopes- hopes to accomplish their dreams.  Mumbaai, which is located on the west cost of India, in the state of Maharashtra, is the financial hub of the country.

Pune

Whereas Pune, which is located in the heart of state Maharashtra is the cultural, educational and IT hub.

Both these cities are very close to each other in terms of distance as well as manner and both these cities are very close to me too. Because I belong to Mumbai and my heart Belongs to Pune. Yes my Heart because MR. R has just shifted to Pune for his further studies and this is how I got acquainted with this cultural city.

It all started in Feb. with the arrival of spring. Spring which marks the beginning, and in this year, in the month of Feb with springs my odysseys to Pune were begun. I had been to Pune long back, when I was a kid.

And that day in FEB, it was like I was visiting Pune for the first time after ages. I left the home to begin my journey in the dawn with a hope and desire to spend few more extra hrs with Mr. R by reaching there early.

Previously two decades ago it use to take 5 hrs to reach Pune from Mumbai, but now Thanks to Shivnery bus service (between Mumbai – Pune), the journey now just takes 3 hrs. Though both the cities are close to each other, there is a considerable difference between them that makes them both unique.

In Mumbai when I left, it was cold but as usual Mum had its warmth and humidity, but as I landed in Pune OMG!!! It was chilly and the weather was so dry.

Coincidentally that day it was Shiv Jayanti and the entire city was colored in the shades of Shivaji Maharaj's glory.. (about whom I had already mentioned in my previous post). Huge saffron flags were raised all over the city radiating it with saffron luminance. And at the junction of every street large loud speakers were placed playing the Marathi songs called “Pawda” specially sung to describe Shivaji Maharaj’s bravery, victorious achievements and his unique impressive ways of administration.

In comparable to Pune Shiv Jayanti in Mumbai is not very grand, indeed it’s nothing before Pune. "Yes Nothing". But one thing for sure you will definitely find saffron flags here, only near Sena Bhavan and near Mantralaya. The reason behind this is Mumbai is a Mega city and moreover it’s secular because it represents the entire country.

In Mumbai Traffic is like nuisance, that’s why people here prefer to travel by trains and so Mumbai Local rocks. In Pune as there are no local trains, people are totally depended on their two wheelers. Therefore roads in Pune are very congested by the two wheeler traffic and traffic in Pune is very haphazard. Punekars are so casual about traffic that in Pune the traffic rules, over the traffic rules. So in order to enforce the traffic rules on Punekars, the Municipal Corporation has taken a step further, indeed a way further,  by appointing bouncers. This tells how mischievous punekars are about traffic.

Newez..

If Mumbai is a City of illusion – Maya Nagri then Pune is a city of Education – shikshanache Maher Ghar. Life in Mumbai is accelerated whereas life in Pune is calm, casual and smooth. As I have spent my entire life in Mumbai, I have seen Mumbai developing – first spreading across horizontally and now I am seeing it developing and rising vertically. Mumbai was born with the time gradually. Therefore Mumbai is the city of Today on the other hand Pune is the city of tomorrow. Pune is being planned and developed as the city of Future. I know Mumbai personally and I bleed Mumbai it is obvious I will compare each city to it. So one thing that annoys me the most about Pune are the dangling electric wires hanging all over the city. And one thing that annoys me the most of Mumbai is the crowd.. oooffff!!!

Whatever every city has its flaws.

But When Mumbai makes me proud about its prosperity, opportunities, glamor and its exquisiteness on the other hand Pune makes me proud about my "Marathi Bana" and my "Marathi Pana".  When Mumbai inspires me to reach for the skys pune reminds me of my soil and my roots.

Therefore in true means; I belong to Mumbai but somewhere I also relate to Pune.

JAY MAHARASHTRA.

The Wedded Bliss

I am a today's Gal. I am a girl of new hi-tech era. I'm independent, strong, self-sufficient and I belong to Mumbai - a city that neva sleeps. I want everything smart like my smart phone. I get what I want myself, keeping in mind what I can afford. Like every girl of today's info tech age I am smart, bold and I know what is good or bad.

Though I flaunt through my attitude that- “I’m a girl, so what!!! Do

I need a man to buy me a house or frost me with diamond or help me to survive???...!!! "

haan!!! Nooo..Noo wez...

I'm not a damsel in distress but I'm a girl who has strong inner-strength.

And I know am not unique or special there are thousands and millions of girls like me in this city who are struggling their existence as a strong female with the faith, determination, dedication and confidence on their femininity.

But like every common girl on this planet I too spin a beautiful dream of my wedding.

And today this dream was provoked by my colleagues news of marriage. In the office today, when she gave me this good news I was damn happy for her.

But deep within me it created a lollapalooza kinda thing. This lollapalooza thing within, haunted me throughout the day. Seeing her happy and blushing all day long I myself got impatient of getting married. Not because I am desperate or not because seeing her cheerful and chirpy made me jealous but becoz I am a girl who just pretends to be strong, bold and independent. And there is a part of me jus like a dark side of the moon N like every modern girl who hides the emotional side - that part which still desires to be a bride, a traditional bride.

Today I was taken a back in my teen age days when I use to dream of having a very cultural and traditional Royal Maharashtrian wedding. I was inspired for this after watching a Marathi TV series based on Maharaj Shiv Chhatrapatti,a brave Maratha worrier king, who eradicated the tyrannical Moghal Empire from Deccan (south India) and established Swarajya i.e soverign republic government in Deccan in

18th century. - (I will surely mention in detail about Maharashtrian Weddings and Raja Shiv Chhatrapatti in a separate post)

Newez back to the 21st century and back to the present.

Today I am not sure that whether I can have such grand wedding eva specially afta the loss of ma parents.

But for a moment I felt she (my colleague) is getting lucky and I wondered when shall be I???

This question hindered me the whole day...

In the morning there was turbulence within me... there were storms inside me... I was so excited seeing her excitement and I was panic too.. I had an urgency of belonging legally to my Mr. Right but later on I recollected what my beloved mother.. My aai had told me about marriages. Though I’m a modern age girl I still have a faith on my mother’s words about marriage - that a marriage is a sacred union of male and female...

On the other hand I suddenly recollected a dialogue between Radha and Krisha in which Raddha interrogated Kirshna saying "Lord!!! If you love me then still why did you marry Rukmini (Krishna's wife)???" On which Lord Krishna answered "Radhe!!! I married Rikmini because a marriage requires two separate individuals where as we both are one".

Then I realized I already belong to him, I already belong to my Mr. Right who had stood beside me in all my glory as well as my dark my abysmal days. Who is my strength and who is the reason, I'm still alive.

In the morning I felt she is lucky and I wondered when shall be I!!! And at the end of the day Lord Krishna made me realize that I have My Mr. Right in my life and that I am already lucky.

And now all at once the panic, the storm, the fear of being alone,the turbulence, the fire has cool down. The urgency and the disturbance have vanished and all I have is tranquility and peace of mind.

Now in the true means I have "the bliss" - the "wedded bliss".

Eternal v/s Material Soul

Nothing is permanent so do is the tomorrow.

Tomorrow brings the mornings-  the mornings which I love.

The morning sea waves and buzzing breeze; the chirping birds blissfully manifesting their joy by singing the morning song - "its morning... its morning" but I hate the most is the morning blues.

They spoil all my plans which I make every night laying down on my bed. Every night I deicide to get up early and go for a walk to see the rising sun, smell and breathe in the morning airs and do some yoga. But these dreams of night melt down and crack up like a cracking mirror every morning.

As every common human I drop this blame of my not getting up early on someone else. The blame of my morning laziness goes on over to my two quarrelsome selfs. One is my eternal self who does all the planning in the night of waking up early and like an angelic child my other self which I call “the material self" accede it innocently.

But in the mourning it shows its chaste behavior. When the birds sing and dance on their morning song, the sea breeze buzz around the city giving a wakeup call to all my fellow Mumbaikars and the waves with all the excitement dashes on the shore, I lie lazily in my teeny tiny apartment struggling to get up.

And it all begins with it – My eternal Self V/s My Material Self.

The eternal self is the mind and the Material self is the body. They both are quarrelsome they both are egotists. They both try to rule us. Sometimes the mind wins but in the morning overcoming the material self is very difficult.

The chattering discussing in the conference of my mind is as;

Eternal Self (All exited to explore the morning) – its 6:30 wow!!!.

Material self – It’s just 6:30 and the office is at 10:00 … 1 hr is sufficient to get ready and traveling just takes 15 mins… Please.. not today am still tired of yesterday’s hustle and bustle. And there is still plenty of time and its useless getting up and what can be done anyways.

(And sleeping in the morning it seems just perfect at the very moment.)

Eternal Self - But, what about rising early and cleaning the house and cooking the food?

Material Self  – Ohh!! Well it can be started all over tomorrow again. And the house is anyways clean – thanks to the Baai (maid) and when the food is available outside then why to cook. And it’s always tomorrow but today needs rest.

With all this flibbertigibbet discussion and conversation in my mind the time passes from 6:30 to 7:00 and from 7:00 it finally drops to 8:00 A.m. Then the same voice inside me shoots me an order “get up, its 8:00 or else it will be late” and Finally as I have no other options rather than gettin up 8:00 Am to start my same boring life.. Home – office, office - home...

I know every morning all of us have experienced this. And only because of them we, most of us, have- No Morning walks… No yoga… No morning excitement Yet!!!

The only things we have are “Disappointments”. Disappointments of - not conquering the lazy soul, not getting up early and continuous falling prey to adamant- laziness … laziness and laziness..

We all know that we all love to get up.. Rise up.. But the life which presently we all live with 10 hrs of working in a day - all this early morning excitement and enthusiasm gets killed.

It’s not the job who kills the excitement; it’s me, you and we all who kills it.

I know -I have a life of 24 hrs in a day. And I know I can conquer someday these quarrelsome selves within me who discuss, who continuously chatter, who are ninnyhammers and actually hammers ninny (sleep in childish lingo) on me every morning.

I know I only work around 10 hrs and I have 14 hrs still left for myself. In which I can actually live.

But When???

And I know I’m not the only one who is trapped in the debate of these selves. With me there are many people who have experienced this. And the only way to get or rise up, above from this is, conquering the material self.

Its truely said in the vedas that one who conqures and proves victorious on these morning blues is even able to conqure the world.

And surely people like me will soon stop pampering the material self who is witty and always comes up with all the good reasons to rise up late.

So Let’s judge this quarrel some day and release ourselves from this trap.

Surely we shall all smell the sweet fragrance of dawn and begin each morning with a New Beginning, soon…

But When???

The answer.. I know ..is within me…

Similarly like the answer is within me. The answer is within you.

So lets just answer this;

“But When???”

Jazz N Bluezz

Jazz and Bluezz both represent Music. Jazz refers to happiness and blues inclines towards the tint of sadness. Life sometimes seems Jazzy and sometimes it floats in the "blues" and therefore “Jazz N Bluezz” is an ironic combination of life.

Jazz and Blues always goes in hand in hand like winter is followed by spring and spring by autumn. Jazz and Blueszz combines together to draw a beautiful landscape of life to demonstrate how notorious life is. How sometimes it so colorful, attractive, Jazzelling and with no time it can twist itself to be shadowy, gloomy, shady and dark.

Life is tricky, complicated and complex like a Jazzy Sunday evening followed by a Monday morning blues. That’s what Jazz and bluezz is for me it’s a musical sensitive refection of life surrounding me.

So live, enjoy and Jive both the Jazz and Bluezz of the Life.